My Name

Whats your name, and where does it come from? I'll start.

I used to hate my name - I thought it was masculine and it didn’t fit me as a person. The letters always strung together in a way that created a sound I didn’t associate myself with. In school, whenever a teacher called my name, they would never look at me first, and I thought that was because I didn’t look like Tristan - I didn’t look like someone who would have that name. Maybe they never looked at me because I was scowling; I know when my name comes, it’s almost always very last. Young. I didn’t like that either. I got the back of the alphabet curse. It’s a curse and I’ve got it.

Whenever my friends and I would play pretend, we would always come up with new names, as kids do. My friend, Kendall, always wanted to keep her name - I would always ask “Why?”

She’d say simply “I like my name.” Oh what a blessing. I fantasized about a different name, boy and girl’s names. Maybe Rachel, or Veronica, and for a period of time, Quinn. What about Tommy, or Andrew or maybe even Carl. Just anything besides Tristan. I always liked my middle name better; it’s Thomas. If I went by Thomas, maybe I’d be cooler. People like me now, but I’m not cool. I’m just Tristan, and Tristan’s kinda weird.

My dad always said my name came from an old movie - Tristan and Isolde. I don’t know what that means, but maybe it’s good. I’ve never seen it. Apparently Tristan is a war hero in that movie. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do that. I’m not cut out for it.

When I began my transition, I thought this time to start anew with my name. My journey would be over! But to save everyone in high school, I decided to wait until I left. Make it out of my small town and then I’d finally get to be who I wanted. Veronica Young; rad right? I didn’t keep it a secret either - I told people “My name is Tristan, but once I leave school, I’ll be Veronica.” Everyone nodded. No one really cared. I was still me, a new name wouldn’t change that.

As I grew older, I began to like myself. I was cool enough, I was pretty, and I was smart - and by senior year, I knew it. Everyone else seemed to notice too. Still, once I got out of here, I would become Veronica.

Cue the headlines ‘Tristan Young Wont Let Anti-Trans Trolls Win’ ‘Trans Girl Tristan’ ‘Trans Homecoming Queen Bites Back!’ Maybe this is starting to sound a little familiar, or maybe not - I don’t control what comes on your news channel. In September of 2023, I was crowned my high school’s homecoming queen. I have never felt so loved. By the time the weekend was over and Monday morning rolled around, everyone all over the country knew me, my face and that twenty dollar crown. They had things to say, not very nice things either.

My face, red lips, and purple dress were splattered all over news sites, broadcasting on tv, set in DailyMail, and believe it or not, TeenVogue. My town even gave me a city resolution, and I was recognized everywhere I went. Libraries, restaurants, drive-thrus, it was like I went around wearing the crown. Maybe there was a big neon sign posted over my head that said ‘Trans Homecoming Queen!’ but at the end of the day, and by the end of the month, it blew over. I was normal again; but even sometimes at home I get asked about the crown. I learned a lot from that experience, and I bet you’re wondering, how does this all connect?

If I became Veronica, whoever she is, I wouldn’t be Tristan anymore. All of the trans rights I stood for would’ve been from Tristan, Not Veronica. I began to love my name. Whenever people asked me if I was still going to change my name, I’d proudly say ‘I think I’ll stick with Tristan’ cause that’s who I know, who I love, who everyone else does too. I wouldn’t be me if I was Veronica; I know she lives deep inside of me, and she’s built up who I am now. I wish I could say I’ve always loved my name, but it’s not my biggest struggle anymore. It’s not a struggle at all, in fact, I love my name. And I love my parents for giving it to me. Wherever it came from, Tristan is a name to be proud of, and Tristan Young is someone to be proud of

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